Its been 17 days since my surgery and Im healing well. My wound is closed and I have no pain in it, the scar is about 6 inches long and as it was stapled together I have the line and dots of a staple scar. A friend told me that after she had surgery, her doctor told her to use any sort of natural
oil, grape seed, olive etc – that you didn’t need posh bio oils or other ‘scar healing’ lotions or potions, and to massage her scar for 10 minutes a day. The motion of massage encourages healing in the scar, it improves blood circulation and increases the collagen. She showed me her scars and they were thin white lines, barely visible. So I have taken this advice and I hope it will help mine too.
My stoma nurse visited today, she is fantastic and answered a few questions I had. I have some soreness to my skin where the ileostomy bag sticks to my skin right at the bottom, she advised that I am carefully peeling off the top of the bag when I remove it, and then pulling it off quickly at the bottom. And yep! She was totally right, that’s what i have been doing! The enemy of anyone with a stoma is sore skin. Sore skin can become open wounds very quickly, open wounds are wet and you cannot stick a bag onto wet skin. So good skin care is vital.
Im less weepy than yesterday, I think part of my problem is that I am still tapering off the steroids and they are notorious for affecting moods and emotions. Today feels more positive but I am struggling with one thing. Patience.
Im not the most patient of people at the best of times. I can’t leave christmas presents under the tree without a good squeeze. If I hear that someone is planning something as a surprise Ill pick at them trying to get clues!
Physically I am healing well. I am still taking painkillers regularly but everything is going to plan. Im well on the road to recovery. Im doing slightly more each day, this week I had the trip shopping and last night we went out to dinner for my son’s birthday. But I feel it when I do more, I tire very quickly and feel the pain more. When I lay down at night, I ache. Im walking well now and working on my posture as I have been stooped for weeks in protection of my stomach.
But now I can do more, it is very difficult to have patience with my body. I know I have to take it really slowly, that doing too much will hinder my overall recovery and could cause problems but Im struggling!! Timm won’t let me lift a finger, he’s still doing all the cooking, cleaning, school runs plus running our business so I feel bad in not being able to help him. He tells me off and just wants me to have the proper rest and recovery. Its nice to be looked after but quite difficult to accept. Im so used to doing everything for myself so it takes a big shift in mindset to look after myself first and allow others to help.
So I try to be patient. I know I need to put trust in my body and give it time to heal and get used to the huge changes that have been made to it. Im grateful and happy that it is doing this so well! I have had no complications and everything is healing well. My stoma is functioning really well and the pain is lessening. I find that the time between painkillers is lengthening slightly. Im not watching the clock to see when I can have more which is an improvement! The body is a bloody clever thing and mine is doing a great job.
I want to get back to work as soon as I can. I run our family photography business with Timm (go check us out – The Picture Foundry) and also work with arts group Responsible Fishing and we have really exciting projects coming up, so Im looking forward to getting back in the saddle. Weirdly, I also want to do some house work – I can’t even believe Im saying that!!! Timm is doing a great job, but you know what its like, no one can do things just as you do (nor do I expect them to!!)
I really want to walk our dog Lola. I want to do some gardening. I want to sand down the piano and paint it. I want to go to the pub with friends. I want to sort out my whole wardrobe. And make all the craft projects I ever put on pinterest. I want to go pick all the apples on the trees in the garden. I want to go on a bike ride. I want to be well enough to be at my friend Corinnes birth. I really want that. I want to drive. I want to visit friends.
Patience. It’s a virtue right?
I will be patient. I have to be because I need to allow myself to heal and not do anything that could set me back.
So Im doing nice things whilst I recover. I watch a lot of films on netflix, Im watching a lot of TED talks (TED is a nonprofit devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading. It started out in 1984 as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design) I watch a lot of documentaries. I thought if Im sat in front of the box I can at least be learning new stuff!!
I am knitting. Im a crap knitter, I can knit squares. So Im knitting a LOT of squares that will eventually be sewn together to make a blanket.
Im reading. Im a big reader anyway but my concentration levels have been really low for a while, its nice now to be able to read more than one sentence (over and over again!) I was bought a book called The House of Leaves over ten years ago and got a third of the way through it before giving up. Its a very difficult read requiring you to flip back and forward and read things out of sync. My good friend James has just started it and has inspired me to try again with it… If you fancy reading it you can get it on Amazon.
Im blogging. Obviously as you are reading. It feels good to blog, its very cathartic for me and I can’t believe how many people are reading! Since I started in July Ive had over 10,000 views of this site – bloody hell chaps!!! Thank you!! From the bottom of my heart thank you for reading and commenting. Thank you.
Im planning our trip to Australia!!! This is a fab one. We are going to Australia via Vietnam to visit my sister, brother in law and niece in December this year, its the most exciting thing!! I was so worried about the trip before my surgery, nervous that I would have a flare up and ruin the trip, that we wouldn’t be able to do the things we wanted to do as I would be ill and need to be close to a loo. So now I have the bag, its exciting!!! There is no reason I can’t do anything everyone else can do. The only thing I need to think about it making sure I take enough bags and products that I need.
I meditate. Now don’t laugh!!! Im not ommmmming away in a corner, but I am spending ten minutes to sit and close my eyes, relax and partake in a bit of mindfulness. Its ten minutes of quiet. Ten minutes of feeling myself grounded, concentrating on my breathing and clearing my mind of everything. It makes me feel centred and calm. So don’t mock – try it… You might like it.
And I try to be patient.
Love Sam xx