STRESSSSSSSSS

My stress levels are currently sky fucking high. My mind is whirring and buzzing, I can’t concentrate, my head just hops from one thing to another to another.

I’m due in for surgery on Wednesday and emotionally and mentally I’m all over the place.

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I feel so fucking grumpy, and sad, frustrated, angry and out of control. Basically think of all the bad emotions and that’s where I’m at.

Logically I am ready for the surgery, I have no doubts and I know it’s the right thing for me. I have a fab, supportive husband, family and friends. I have managed to catch up with a lot of lovely friends in the past week so I should be feeling happy.

In reality the stress is just getting to me. I *think* it’s probably normal to feel stressed out and emotional before major surgery. But I just feel so shitty.

I’m exhausted, I could sleep 24 hours a day, I’m mardy and a little bad tempered.  But then at times I sit awake for hours during the night with my head going into overdrive.

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Stress is an odd thing and affects everyone differently. I think I’m usually upbeat and good at dealing with it. But right now it’s affecting me physically, I have a headache EVERY day and I’m absolutely drained of energy. Mentally I’m very anxious, I keep thinking that I won’t wake up from this surgery, but more than that I’m worrying about everything else, for example I keep thinking that we’ll have a car crash or a house fire. I find myself panicking when I watch the news thinking it will happen to us.

I have a lot going on right now and so Im trying not to stress about being stressed! I think it is a normal reaction to a scary situation, so I am accepting my mentalness right now and just getting through the next couple of days till the surgery is done and dusted.

 

Love Sam xxx

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4 thoughts on “STRESSSSSSSSS

    • Awww thanks Dave. To be honest I think I just need to get into hospital and get it over and done with! I think Im just really worried about having the op and dealing with the recovery and it has been postponed a couple of times already so Im all adrenalined up!

      Thank you x

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  1. Daft logic there? Chances are you’ll be worse off going in to hospital fretting about it? It’s going to happen, you are OK with having the operation so start being cool about it. Bit like that photo you posted? V.cool 🙂

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