family days out sheffield

On the mend and my first day out

It’s been six weeks post pouch surgery and since I started on the loperamide last Monday, things have improved massively.  Last week I was going to the toilet around 20 times a day and having 2-4 accidents a day which was heart breakingly depressing.  Dr Brown said I needed to figure out how much or how little of the meds to take to slow down how often I need to empty my pouch, I started high at 4 tablets which was too much, I ended up with a lot of bloating and terrible stomach pains.

I have brought it down to 1-2 tablets and this seems to be working well for me, I am now going about 5 times a day and accidents are a lot rarer! I have found that most days I am ok in the mornings as my stomach is empty but it gets worse in the evenings and so I’m taking the loperamide at tea time.

It is embarrassing to talk about this, I cringe at the thought of people knowing how it has been but this blog is about honesty and I am going to document the bad times so I can appreciate it when the good times come.  There is also a lot of bad press about j pouches, I have seen in many forums people saying they wouldn’t ever have pouch surgery as it’s too much like going back to illness with the recovery.

I still have some discomfort but I am down to just occasional pain relief rather than every 4-6 hours as I have been.

On Sunday I had my first day out. It was tough mentally, I had a little cry as I tried on forty outfits to find something I was comfortable. I’ve lost quite a bit if weight and everything just looked ODD. I’d developed a good wardrobe that worked well with my ileostomy bag but now I’ve lost my way a little. Wearing pyjamas for six weeks does that to a person!

20140626-154959-56999078.jpg

We had a family day out at Cliffhanger, a family activity festival in Sheffield and then on to L’eroica in Bakewell, an Italian bicycle event with music, food, drinks and general loveliness.

20140626-155159-57119698.jpg

20140626-155548-57348716.jpg

It felt weird being out in public and I felt quite self conscious and a bit fearful. I was very glad to have Timm’s hand to hold, which is an odd feeling for someone like me who is usually confident and independent. But it was really lovely. A tiny bit of normality in a family day out and it lifted my spirits hugely.

Even having to use outdoor portaloos was ok. I felt the urge to go and panic washed over me a bit, but is told Timm and he just took my bags and said “go! We’ll find you!” So I set off on walking, fast enough that I wouldn’t shit myself yet nonchalant enough that I didn’t look like I was about to! It was all fine though and it felt like a little victory for me.

20140626-160128-57688612.jpg

It was a big step for me to be out for the day. I felt quite emotional, it just felt so good to feel like a real family after weeks of me being a patient whilst Timm cared for me and the kids. It reminded me why I have gone through the last year, that I wanted to get to a point in my life where it wasn’t all just about illness.

I still have a long way to go,but this first day out felt like a really great first step on that ladder.

20140626-160957-58197311.jpg

Love Sam xx

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “On the mend and my first day out

  1. #win! Now you know what a UC sufferer goes through… Never more than 6 paces from the nearest loo! Good to have Timm next to you Sam, your confidence will come back, you’re too big not to!…. not big, you know….

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s