The wedding dress saga

In September this year, my husband Timm and I are renewing our wedding vows after being married for ten years and together for sixteen years! We married in May 2004 in Las Vegas, we had originally planned a big white wedding at home, but the stress of everyone else trying to dictate our day just got too much and so we eloped and were married by the king…

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It was such a fantastic day, we married at the Viva Las Vegas wedding chapel, I wore a red and white floral dress and in the evening we ate at the Stratosphere in their revolving restaurant . It was pretty much perfect.

We decided to renew our vows a couple of years ago. Partly because we have just changed so much in ten years, partly because we wanted to share it all with our friends and family and partly because we wanted a big party! Then after the past year of illness, surgery and recovery, our wedding renewal has become such a big thing, it’s the thing that’s kept me going through bad times and given me something to look forward to.

The first thing I thought about was my wedding dress. As I didn’t wear one the first time round I was adamant that this time I wanted a ‘proper’ gown. When I looked at dresses I realised that the ones I liked were around £1,000 and I knew I couldn’t spend that much money. After not working for our business for long periods of time whilst recovering I just can’t warrant spending that much money on a dress I’ll wear once. We have three kids and a business to run, it just doesn’t seem right.

Then I saw dresses from China on eBay at a massive reduction. The dress I fell in love with was just £90. Now I always think if something seems too good to be true then it probably is. But asking around a lot of people said they knew people who’d had dresses from China and they were fantastic. So I risked it and sent my measurements along with £90 through PayPal to an eBay seller.

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I received an email saying they’d got my measurements and payment and the my dress would be with me by 26th July. Shortly after, I got an email from eBay saying the item had been removed but if I had paid then I would still receive the dress. I was panicked but they assured me I would still get it.

I then saw that the seller had been removed!!! Again eBay said that the item should still come and nothing could be done till after the date of delivery had passed. So I crossed my fingers and toes and waited…

My dress hasn’t come.

I’m now five weeks away from the wedding and have no dress. I cried a lot yesterday, that may seem daft as I know it’s only a dress but I’d set my hopes on it and had these dreams of walking down the aisle in it. The last year has been so hard, two major surgeries and a body full of scars mean that though I fight hard to remain positive, sometimes my body makes me sad. It looks so war beaten, so battered and forlorn.

I thought in wearing this dress, that for the first time in a long time I would feel really beautiful. I thought people will look at me and see a bride, not a patient. They won’t think about scars and ileostomy bags, no one will be thinking ‘there goes the lady who talks about poop’. I know this is silly. A dress is a dress. But I had pinned all these hopes and dreams onto this dress and now it’s not here.

I wanted something special for Timm. He has been my carer for so long and in the last year he has seen me at rock bottom, he’s watched me as a broken woman, full of scars and wounds. He’s had to wash me and carry me, he has cleaned me when I’ve had accidents and literally supported me on the toilet when I was too weak. I wanted him to see me and for none of that to be in his mind. Does this sound silly? I wanted him to be blown away when he saw me, for me to look nothing like the sad crying woman he had to push in a wheelchair. I wanted to look like a bride.

I now don’t have enough time to get a dress from a bridal shop even if I had the money. I’m limited by budget and time to high street off the peg dresses or second hand. I’m sure I’ll find something but I can’t help but feel really sad. My friends have rallied and today we are off shopping to see what I can find.

I need to remember that this wedding is about how much Timm and I love each other. A dress won’t change that and after all we have been through, this is but a tiny blip. Our wedding will be a fantastic day because we will be there together.

I’ll remember that and repeat it to myself all day.

Love Sam x

*UPDATE*

I opened a resolution case with eBay, after 8 days the seller hadn’t responded so I escalated the case.

I just received an email from eBay saying they have closed the case and I won’t be getting a refund.

WTF? I’m gutted.

This is the confirmation I got from the seller…

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Then I got this from eBay…

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This is the one I got today, no explanation!!!

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If anyone can help or advise I’d be very grateful 😥

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13 thoughts on “The wedding dress saga

  1. “this is but a tiny blip. Our wedding will be a fantastic day because we will be there together.” Hit the nail on the head Sam. Enjoy your day together.

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  2. Sam! My heart is breaking for you and I know in the grand scheme of things it is only a blip but it’s a horrible blip and it’s an emotional blip. Please let us know how you get on today and i will be keeping my fingers crossed that the dress you find is perfect and it will seem like this was all for a reason. Xx

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  3. If someone else can work on a skirt, I will happily make you a corset (if you are able to wear one with an ostomy) or an appropriately fitted bustier. I have the majority of materials to hand and would pretty much just need an outer fabric, and could get it to you within a couple of weeks. No charge, I used to work as a carer so I know the impact ostomies have on lives.

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  4. I have a size 12 talent wedding dress. Top is sort of a nice lace not a horrible one, bottom is tulle. Has an olive green ribbon but you could remove it. Find me on fb if you want pics etc, I’d be happy to send it.

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  5. Gosh what a tragic story – please know that we hire phenomenal wedding dresses at very short notice, so don’t think that you can’t achieve an amazing look on a budget. Hire fees start at £395 for the week – we have 60 dresses to choose from this month. We also courier!
    Annalisa x

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  6. Wtf ! They can’t keep your money ! Did you pay through PayPal ? If you did I thought you could claim the money back from them somehow. Also if you paid by credit card you should be able to call your bank and open some sort of case with them I thought ? I could be completely wrong talk about kicking you while your down. Hope you get it sorted I’m sure you won’t let it ruin your day xxxx

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  7. Sam if you can find a dress you like, I’m sure you can have it styled up and altered / customised to make it uniquely yours – just need to find someone who can sew, if no-one up there then I can ask my sis-in law as she did a fabulous job with her own dress. Sorry about crappy ebay sellers 😦 xx

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