Fat is not sexy…

These are the words of Steve Miller, do you remember him? He did a show called Fat Families where he basically bullied people into exercise and eating salad by calling them “massive fatties” at every opportunity in order to motivate them to lose weight.

Well I unfortunately stumbled upon his twitter feed yesterday and unsurprisingly it is filled with fat shaming posts.  What does surprise me is how far he is willing to push his condemnation of overweight people.  His feed is filled with venomous statements labelling people “fat” “lazy” and stating that they aren’t curvy, just fat.

steve miller twitter fat shaming

Here’s the charmer himself telling the world about the “reality” and “truth” that fat people are unattractive and aren’t able to be in a loving relationship.

steve miller twitter fat shaming

Also fat people don’t have sex.  It’s the truth, it must be!!! This vile Alan Carr wannabe said so!!  All I can think is that he has been taking a leaf out of the Katie Hopkins school of fame and hopes that if he can be as offensive as possible then he will gain fame.  He extolls himself as ‘the Simon Cowell of the slimming world’ with his Mr Nasty character and believes that fat shaming helps to motivate people to lose weight.

What a dick.

I really want to post an intelligent and reasoned argument as to why this vile toad is wrong, but I only have expletives!  How very fucking dare he?  His ‘reality’ and ‘truth’ is bullshit.  He doesn’t get to judge others on their outward appearance and assume that his fucked up, warped view of the world is the truth.

“The reality is; most men don’t want an overweight lover so as soon as they begin to get heavier their partner begins to look elsewhere. After all, who wants a fat woman on top of them in the bedroom?”

What world is he living in? His assumption that all women want to be a size 6 and all men would baulk at the sight of a woman larger than a supermodel is fucking ridiculous.

You know what is sexy? Confidence.  There is nothing hotter than a person who glows with self love, who is happy, joyous and loving life.  You know that person who lights up a room when they enter, who is interesting and clever and witty and you are drawn to them.  And they may be a size 6 or a size 26, the outer shell doesn’t matter when you are in the presence of someone awesome.

You know what isn’t sexy? A person who tries to make money from shaming people into feeling bad about themselves, who name-calls and belittles others.  Somebody who takes their own hurt and pain and puts it onto others.

Worry not, because they amazing world of twitter has responded with vigour.  Awesome blogger and fat activist Daisy replied.

steve miller twitter fat shaming

Whilst I pissed myself at Fat Becky‘s response…

steve miller fat shaming

Yeah, yeah I know lowering ourselves to mocking his appearance isn’t the most adult thing to do, but sometimes, some people are so vile that they kind of deserve it…

There is nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight, get fitter or change your lifestyle, but how many really believe that someone bullying them will help? No one should lose weight because someone else makes them feel bad about themselves, weight loss and getting fitter should be a personal choice and one that is emotionally healthy for them.

And that personal choice goes both ways, a friend told me recently that she had been dieting for years and had started a new regime, her husband sighed heavily and told her that he would rather her gain another 5 stone than him have to see her punish herself any longer.  Not everyone wants to be thin, nor does every partner care what size their loved one is.

After my surgeries I was a little shy in front of my husband, I wore long vests in the bedroom to hide my changed body, this became a habit that I eventually tired of.  I realised I wasn’t fooling him, he didn’t think I was a size 0 under my size 16 vest!!! And so I rid myself of the garments and shook what my momma gave me… The result? An honest conversation where he told me that when I covered up it made him worry that I didn’t trust him to love me, it also made him think I couldn’t be enjoying myself if I was thinking about my stomach.

This vile man, Steve Miller, would like you all to believe that if you are fat, no one will love you.  I call bullshit.  If the people around you only care about the number in the back of your dress then dump those fuckers NOW.  True friends, partners, lovers care about you as a whole package and your size and shape pales into insignificance when it comes to your self esteem, confidence, joy and character.

Sex and love are about respect, trust, fun and excitement.  These things come through self esteem and a great relationship not through salads and treadmills.

Fat is not sexy? What a load of shit!!!

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No make up, no photoshop, size 16 and in the words of the amazing Amy Schumer, I can catch a dick any time I want…

Steve Miller, go fuck yourself!

 

Sam x

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18 thoughts on “Fat is not sexy…

  1. Sexy is in the eye of the beholder. Fat folks have sex too. We men who appreciate women are stick thin call them BBW’s. I prefer Rubenesque. Self confidence and projecting that confidence is sexy. Skin is an errogenous zone, which means, “there’s more to love” is a very true statement. This is the kind of mindset that believes people with disabilities don’t have sex either. Moron.

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  2. Steve used to be a fattie. It’s his own low self-esteem talking, even now he’s lost all that weight, he’s still projecting that outwards. The thing is, as a fattie myself, I don’t think that men will find me sexy because of my size. Of course that’s not true and I pulled a proper fit bloke the other month who had never been with a big girl, only been with model types. My personality made that happen and it was a massive boost to my self-esteem. And the sex.. he could barely keep up hahahahaha! It’s all about how YOU see yourself. If you project that to the world, that’s what you will attract in return. Love yourself, whatever size you are, whatever things are ‘wrong’ with you and there will be people out there that will be drawn to your awesomeness. You pitied that horrible c*nt Hopkins…. at least Steve was a fattie and knows what it’s like. With these diets and exercise shows, they never have the counselling to back up the weight loss. Most overweight people have an underlying reason why they are that size etc… diets are just a band aid, deal with the issues and then the weight loss will stick. It’s difficult when the whole world judges you but you can break that cycle of bad habits and overcome those demons.

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  3. i think it’s great that you’ve posted this for many reasons and I appreciate that you’ve noted from size 6 to 26, beauty is beauty. I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment.
    But it should be noted that whilst there is fat shaming, theres also skinny bashing. There’s also a retaliation against weight lifters (especially of the female variety) and for some reason beyond me, people also take issue with other peoples dietary choices. I think the take home issue here is that you only have one place to live (your body) and it’s up to you, to feel at home in it. If that means hitting the gym or hitting the hamburgers- or both, or neither, I say knock your absolute socks off. Unless you’re hurting others, or hurting yourself, I don’t see the shame in it.
    No one should be telling anybody else how best to navigate their shape, size or otherwise. If it’s not your journey, don’t try and take the wheel.

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  4. When I first got diagnosed with UC I got put on pred straight away and gained about 3 stone in a month, which meant none of my clothes fit and i got loads of strechmarks, after a few months of being on it I went back to the gp to change my meds and he said ‘it’s funny because people with uc are usually skinny, you should probably lose a few pounds’ and all I can remember thinking is if I didn’t have my boyfriend or wasn’t in a healthy mental state that could of seriously damaged me. Negative comments DO NOT help people change their lives. It just makes you feel shit about yourself!

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  5. Hi Sam,
    I think you are awesome and doing an amazing job of demystifying the world of poo, IBD and all things bowel related, for which I whole heartedly applaud you. And whilst I agree with your sentiments re Mr Miller’s ignorant opinions, and understand the satisfaction of a rant(!!!) be careful not to lower yourself to petty name calling. Sure, disagree with his words all you like, but the sentence
    “lowering ourselves to mocking ….appearance isnt the most adult thing to do but sometimes some people are so vile they kind of deserve it”…
    Really? Isnt that how he justifies his opinions of fat people.

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  6. *applauds*. Just the BEST post. I’m not even going to mention that person who spills forth such utter garbage and hatred, because he doesn’t deserve my words, but you my dear, most definitely DO.

    A perfect post. Absolutely spot on. Sexiness is not about being thin or looking like a supermodel (Who actually look very beautiful but very odd and nothing like the rest of us, I met one once in Germany and it was like a giraffe had walked into the room. She just didn’t look human at all and it made me feel a million times better about myself!).It’s about being happy, being confident, loving your body – whatever size or shape it is – and you know what? Having a bloody good time doing it. GREAT post, possibly my favourite of yours yet x

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