Not dealing with things well

Man, I’m grumpy. Like ‘lay on your face, hate the world’ grumpy.

This morning was good, I went for a dog walk with my friend Caroline and then had a morning doing a bit of work and helping her with craft stuff with another friend Rob. We chatted and everything was good.

But this afternoon my mood has taken a turn for the worse.

I’m still stressing about the mass from my ultrasound I know it need to not think about it and just wait and see what they say but it’s just sat niggling in my head.

I have come home and done some work and then opened my emails to a barrage of questions from the letting a agent from our last home. I’m really struggling to deal with this shit. I hate having to be a grown up and totally feel like we are being taken advantage of.

We lived in a house filled with damp and mould for 15 months, despite having the (very expensive oil) heating on, airing the house daily and using a dehumidifier the house was damp and mouldy and our clothes, shoes and furniture was ruined.

We put up with so many problems thinking we were being kind, good and accommodating tenants and now were being treated like mugs. I’m hacked off. Problems were never fixed by the landlord, she would get the cheapest solution possible and if she didn’t want to pay for it then it didn’t get fixed at all.

And now we have left, they want the moon on a stick.

I’m sorry I know this is nothing to do with this blog but it is stressing me out so much I could weep.

I’m sure living in a house filled with mould affected my recovery last year and since moving into our new home we have all noticed a massive difference to our breathing and general wellness but we are being told the damp was our fault due to not heating the house adequately!!

I’m sick of being taken for a mug. I’m sick of having to deal with shit thrown at us all the time. I’m fed up of trying to be a good kind person and just facing hardships all the time.

I’m grumpy. I’m sorry, this is not a positive post. I really need to take some of my own advice right now but I’m struggling to deal with everything.

With this stress plus my health, the upcoming surgery and recovery and just life. I feel like everything is just too much. I want to go hide in a duvet cave and not deal with any of it.

But I suppose I have to man up and deal with it. Timm has been at the house all week redecorating and making sure everything is perfect or they are threatening to keep our bond. They want us to leave the house in a better condition than what we got it in and I fucking hate feeling like we’re being taken advantage of but what can we do? We need the bond back as it will tide us over during my being in hospital for the upcoming surgery.

So I will attempt to reign in my grumps. Tonight all I want to do is hide under a duvet with my family and lock the rest of the shitty world out.

Hopefully normal service will resume shortly but till then please accept my apologies for being a proper mardy arse!!!

Sam xx